Vacation?
by ChieLuvsBleach
Summary: When one of Szayel's experiments go wrong during an attack on Karakura town and some Espada and their Fraccion become human, they're stuck in the human world until their powers return. Some people would call this a vacation, but is it really? How will they be able to survive? Friendships will form and bonds will break as they discover what it means to have a heart.
1. Prologue

**Warnings and shit: T for bad language and mild sex references later on.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing 'cept Chie-chan. If I did own Bleach, it'd be some kind of fucked up romance/action/tragedy shit.**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

I stared forward blankly, the only thing to fill the empty silence that lingered in the air was our footsteps. Bored, I decided to break it.

"Ulquiorra-sama?"

"Yes?"

"Does Supe-" Noticing my slip-up, I swiftly corrected myself. You only make the mistake of calling Aizen 'Superman-wannabe' in front of Ulquiorra-sama once. "Aizen-sama, like cookies?"

"What?"

"Those human treats."

"Which ones?" I had gone to the World of the Living so often with him - because he doesn't trust me to go alone and we had to collect things for Szayel's experiments and tea for the Superman-wannabe - but somehow, I always managed to persuade him to stop off at a store where we get some kind of treat.

"The round ones," I made a circle shape with my hands for emphasis. "They normally have little pieces of chocolate in them and they come in several different flavours. Like chocolate, double chocolate, chocolate orange, those disgusting white chocolate ones, Smarties-"

"I get it."

"Does Aizen-sama like them?"

"I believe so."

"Great!" I cheered. I wonder how he'll like what I like to call 'Orihime Cookies'. Otherwise known as the deadly recipe I made up with Grimmjow - don't ask - that contains chilli powder, Mexican beans, some of the hottest chilli peppers in the world and a secret ingredient from Szayel-san's lab thrown into cookie dough and baked to perfection.

"What are you plotting?" he asked in monotone.

"Nothing, Ulquiorra-sama," I gave off an innocent smile that probably isn't as reassuring as I'd hoped.

"Sure."

"When's the next meeting?"

"Since when did you ever want to go to a meeting?" he peered at me cautiously.

"I want to make Aizen-sama cookies for the next meeting."

"The meeting is when Gin-san says it is."

No sooner had he said that, I could see Gin-san skipping through the hall cheerfully.

"'Ey Ulqui-kun, Chie-chan," Gin greeted merrily as he passed us in the hall. "There's anotha' meetin' in an hour. Bye bye now!"

...What is he? A psychic or something?

Well, regardless, I guess it's time to start baking!

* * *

Within the hour, the cookies were prepared and I had briefed Grimmjow, Szayel, Gin, and new recruit to our little team, Nnoitra, before the meeting began. I would've notified Kitsune as well, but I wasn't able to find her before the meeting.

I don't know how they convinced me to let Nnoitra in the group. Hm, wait... I remember now! We took a vote and they outnumbered me. If it were up to me, I'd let him suffer. But Grimmjow, Szayel and Gin still insisted that he'd be a valuable player in our team. Szayel only probably did it because he was threatened, Grimmjow because he's fairly good friends with the guy... Sometimes. And Gin... I don't know. That guy's more unpredictable than me, and that's saying something.

But nonetheless, this is without a doubt going to be completely epic! If all goes according to plan, we won't be having any meetings for a while.

We each took our seats in silence.

"Good evening, my dear Espada," Aizen began. Both Kitsune-chan and I sent him a glare. "...and Fraccion," he added.

Kitsune-chan and I had both improved exceedingly fast. She was now powerful enough to dethrone an Espada of about rank nine or below. With all of the extra training that Ulquiorra-sama had forced me to do, I was strong enough to rival Szayel-san, possibly even that meditator dude that I have yet to bother to learn the name of.

But, being the nice girls that we were, we decided against it. Aizen knows of our power. Don't know how, because neither of us remember telling him. When we battled to prove whose training method was better, we were still weak compared to a normal Espada. Then one day out of the blue, the day we pulled that amazingly awesome prank with the hair gel, he announced that we were strong enough to be considered Espada, and so he allows- MAKES us sit through these boring meetings with the other Espada.

I must say, the life of an Espada freaking sucks, - other than the fact that they get to choose slave-FRACCIONES - they have to sit through twenty-dozen bloody meetings per day and drink nothing but tea that I assume tastes like sewage water. Not sure. I never drank either. But both look and smell pretty-much the same.

Not that the life of a Fraccion is any better. I spend most of my days serving tea to Ulquiorra-sama, then cleaning it up when I spill it. Exciting.

Though, regardless of what Kitsune-chan says, I bet she didn't want to be an Espada because that'd mean she couldn't be Grimmjow's Fraccion anymore. I think she likes him. Either that, or life as his Fraccion is super easy.

Then again, it probably isn't easy nor fun being beaten to a bloody pulp.

Yeah, she likes him.

I suddenly snapped back to reality as a small Arrancar scampered up to Aizen, a plate of our 'Orihime Cookies' in hand. Superman looked at them, curiosity and confusion evident in his eyes as he tried to make the decision on whether or not they were safe to eat.

In the end, he rejected them. The Arrancar wandered over to Tosen, offering the cookies to him next. Gin-san was faking sickness to get out of the meeting. He didn't want to risk being caught in the little explosion.

Thinking nothing of it, Tosen took one from the plate. That was our cue to leave.

"Hm, Aizen-sama, may I be excused just briefly?" Szayel-san didn't even wait for an answer before lifting himself up from his seat and heading for the doorway. "I've just remembered that I've left Lumina and Verona alive and in the same room as one of my most important experiments. Oh, and I'll need Konoe-san to assist me." I pushed myself to my feet and started walking to the door. "This experiment is exceedingly important and could potentially blow up Las Noches if left unattended."

He hesitated before answering."You are excused."

"Thank you, Aizen-sama," Szayel said, twirling around and bowing gracefully before leaving.

I glanced briefly back at Aizen, who stared suspiciously at the pink-haired figure as he walked out the door. Luckily, another Arrancar came along and served him a cup of tea to distract him.

"I need to make sure he doesn't get up to any funny shit with her," Grimmjow grumbled. "C'mon Kitsune, you can help."

I snickered quietly, pressing my back up against the wall next to the door to the meeting room so that I couldn't be seen. I also lowered my spiritual pressure slightly to make me seem further away. Szayel-san did the same, shushing me when my giggles got a little too loud.

"I'm gonna go follow them and find out what hot shit they get up to," Nnoitra grinned, sprinting after them.

One by one as they left the room, I pulled them back to where I was. Soon enough, we were all there and prepared to watch Aizen suffer.

"They're up to something, and I'm going to find out what," the cold, stern voice of my master spoke.

Shit.

"I'll come with you," Halibel-san said.

Double shit.

"Run," Szayel-san whispered to the team.

We sonido'd down the hall, although, no sooner had we left our hiding spot, the two superior Espada had already caught up to us.

"I knew you were up to something," Ulquiorra-sama said.

Luckily for us, our little scheme was already in progress. Nothing they did could stop it now. Just three...

Two...

One...

"Oh God, Tosen!" Aizen shrieked.

The group erupted in laughter, victorious yells and triumphant grins as the shout rang through our ears. Ulquiorra-sama and Halibel-san gave us strange looks, those looks soon changing to shocked ones - well, as close to shocked as Ulquiorra-sama could get - as they slowed down. When I gazed ahead I could see a displeased Aizen standing at the end of the hall. I slowed down myself once I saw him. The moment I slowed, the smell from Tosen's little 'accident' hit me. Okay, maybe we made it a little too potent.

"Hm, I knew it," Aizen said, pacing towards me slowly. "I assume you're responsible for this, Chika?"

I glanced back to my team. I knew that Grimmjow and Nnoitra were both dying to fight for the position of leader, but they knew that if they spoke up, they'd be the ones who got punished. Szayel-san and Kitsune-chan were looking away nervously, I wasn't really expecting any help from them anyway. I looked at the rest of my group, a disgusted grimace covering my face at their lack of assistance. Grimmjow should've helped at least, he came up with the idea in the first place. I turned back to face Aizen, nodding slowly.

"But I swear, I had no idea that this would happen. If I did, I totally would've done it sooner," I admitted. "But I definitely wouldn't have made it so strong."

Aizen stared, quite shocked that I confessed so quickly. "Well, now we are unable to use the meeting room until the smell fades. That certainly can't go unpunished."

I frowned. I thought telling the truth was meant to make you feel good? It only got me into further trouble. Well, if I'm going down, I'm taking them down with me.

"They helped me. Grimmjow came up with the idea and the others helped me make it happen. Kitsune-chan's innocent, though. She only found out when it happened," I explained, gesturing to the useless bastards standing behind me.

"Hm, yes, I suspected they would be," Aizen muttered, deep in thought. "All of you will become subjects to Szayel's new experiment."

"But that benefits him!" Nnoitra exclaimed, exasperated.

"Wait. Does this include the Emo Bitch and Halibel too?" Grimmjow pondered aloud.

"Aizen-sama, you must believe me when I say that I would never do anything to compromise my loyalty to you," Ulquiorra-sama said, bowing down to his almighty 'Aizen-sama.' I swear, he wouldn't be able to live if Aizen suddenly disappeared. Or died right in front of him. Hm, maybe I could test that theory... I think I've been spending a little too much time around Grimmjow.

"Despite your loyalty towards me, I can't help but think that you were blackmailed or something into being part of this operation. And so, you shall be punished along with them, as will Halibel-san."

"Why thank you, Aizen-sama," Szayel-san said, gratefulness evident in his voice as he bowed down gracefully.

"I had nothing to do with this! I simply exited the room to assist a fellow Espada!" Halibel-san protested.

"Would you like me to increase the punishment?"

"Hah, I'd like to see you try!" Nnoitra scoffed.

"Alright, then. All of your Fraccion will also become test subjects for Szayel, alongside you."

I could feel the weight of several glares on me, each one more dangerous than the last. I knew I was in trouble. Big trouble.

* * *

**Yes, I started another story before finishing UA. Sue me. I just felt like I needed to post something...**

**UA will be finished tho, promise.**

**Pixel cookies for anybody who can guess where the title came from.**

**REVIEW OR ELSE. Please. :/**

**Thanks & bye bye ^^**


	2. Chapter One: Fucking&Psychos

**Yes, I changed the title already :/ I'm indecisive. Gonna give a theme song to each chapter. Theme song for this chapter: Headstrong by Trapt**

* * *

Day One - Morning

"Remind me what the hell we're doing here?"

"Your stupid fucking idea with Ulquiorra's little brat got us into trouble!" Nnoitra yelled. "I swear, you better sleep with your eyes open tonight because I'm gonna fuck you up-"

"Aizen-sama has said for each of you to follow every command I give you, so hush now. I'll allow you sexual intercourse after I'm done with you," Szayel-san smirked teasingly as he entered the room.

"You honestly think I'd fuck that bad spoon impersonator?" Grimmjow chuckled.

"It's me who would be doing the fucking, kitty-cat!" Nnoitra exclaimed, putting emphasis on the 'me' by jabbing his thumb into his chest. "And who the hell are you calling a spoon?!"

"Ah, so you don't deny it?" Szayel's smirk widened.

"Deny what?"

Halibel-san facepalmed, as did Mila Rose, Kitsune-chan and Neliel-chan, who, for some unknown reason, decided to join us. Most others were failing to suppress giggles. Ulquiorra-sama stood emotionless. I stood confused.

"Nothing..."

"What's sexual intercourse?" I asked innocently.

"Ulquiorra will teach you when the time's right," Szayel-san winked at him.

"No, I will not. I have not, and never will be, romantically involved with any child like her," he said coldly.

"Dude, you need to get laid," Grimmjow grinned.

"Yeah, and you and Spoon-face don't. We don't need your retarded offspring filling up Hueco Mundo," Apache spoke up.

"Unless you miraculously manage to convince somebody like Halibel-sama or Neliel-chan to do 'it' with you," Sung-sun said.

"Don't be stupid, Sung-sun. They haven't got a hope in hell with either of them," Mila Rose said.

The three Fracciones' voices began coming together to form a loud quarrel which Halibel-san was trying - and failing - to break up. Whenever she did manage to get them to stop, it'd only last for about a second before one of them muttered 'slut' or 'whore' and it started all over again.

"Please, keep it down, I'm trying to concentrate," Szayel-san said irritably as he continued to mix multicoloured potions together.

Obviously, they ignored him.

"Aha! It's complete!" As Szayel-san victoriously held up the vial containing his potion, the arguing ceased. Everybody tensed up, anxious about what kind of deadly mixture he had concocted.

He smirked as he filled up several syringes with the colourful elixir. One for each of us, including himself.

"Stand in a line."

"Hell no!" Nnoitra yelled defiantly.

"You will do as I say or I will strap you to a table and dissect you," Szayel-san said, a dark aura radiating from him.

"Psht, I'm not scared," Nnoitra huffed.

"...Then I'll rip out your intestines, use them to tie you up to the highest point of Las Noches and burn your scrotum," he grinned devilishly. "Aizen-sama would have my head, but it'd be worth it."

We reluctantly did as commanded, standing straight in a neat line, readying ourselves.

I remember when I actually did catch him doing that. Dissecting another being. A while back, for some unknown reason, I felt like I was about to vomit. So I went to Szayel-san in the hope he'd have a cure for it.

It didn't take long to reach the lab. The door was open a crack, making me suspicious. I peaked through, seeing Szayel-san, a grin on his face that stretched from ear to ear, with a little Arrancar that I didn't know the name of strapped to a table. His intestines were on one nearby table and his other organs on others. Little droplets of blood lay on the floor in messy patterns between the tables. I don't know why, but Szayel-san was having the time of his life. He couldn't be happier. The look in his eyes was so crazed. It was like he'd lost all traces of sanity.

Needless to say, he had a big mess to clean up by the doorway after that display. Just thinking about it still makes me feel queasy.

I bet that the only reason that I haven't been laid out on that table to be picked apart yet is because Aizen has a use for me, so that stopped him first of all. Ulquiorra-sama got given the responsibility of taking care of me for Aizen - and we all know how that little buttkiss would never, ever fail a task given by 'the almighty God of everything, Aizen-kami-sama' - so that further stopped Szayel-san. I also have a strange frenemy-type relationship with Grimmjow and he doesn't like Szayel-san so that even further protects me.

If those three people weren't around then I'd be lying lifeless on a cold metal table with my limbs, organs, everything scattered out on numerous tables as he attempted to find out what makes me tick. Well, who wouldn't want to? I'm an Arrancar with shockingly powerful ceroes, hierro that 'breaks' and healing abilities powerful enough to bring a near-dead Espada back to life.

I snapped back to reality when I felt something sharp pierce my arm. I cringed as Szayel-san drove the needle protruding out from the syringe into my delicate skin. He made sure all of the liquid in the syringe had disappeared into my bloodstream before moving onto the next poor unfortunate.

* * *

When we had all endured the painful injections, Szayel-san announced, "And now we pay a visit to Karakura town."

"Why?" I asked cautiously.

"I want to test the effects of the potion." A sickly grin was plastered across his face. Whatever the effect of the potion was, I knew it couldn't be good. "Ulquiorra, if you may."

Ulquiorra-sama obediently opened up the garganta and one by one we each entered. At the end of the lightless tunnel, I gazed around, frowning.

I stepped out of the garganta and stood in the air with my comrades. It didn't take long for me to identify the place; Karakura Town. I sighed deeply. This potion had better not make us like super-strong or something stupid.

"Trash... all of them... trash," Ulquiorra-sama muttered as he examined the area.

"How do we split up?" Nel-chan asked.

"We shall set up a communication link, hide and wait to ambush. Remember to conceal your reiatsu," Halibel-san said.

"Why can't we just fucking attack?!" Nnoitra yelled angrily.

"They're not here yet, dumbass," Apache grumbled.

"Yes, but if we attack the town they might come to 'save' it," the spoon argued.

"They're coming either way, idiot, so save your strength, you'll need it," Kitsune-chan snapped.

Nnoitra let out a low growl as he readied himself for the attack. His weapon rest upon his shoulder, eyes - or should I say, eye? - darted around the area in search of a target.

I averted my gaze from the rest of my team and looked at the ground, catching sight of an emerald-green marker. I stared at the blank wall beside me. I slyly looked both ways to make sure that nobody was watching before sonidoing down, picking up the marker and coming back up immediately after. I challenged Mila Rose to a quick game of tic tac toe on the wall. After explaining the rules briefly, she accepted and we began the game. Every so often I would look down, snickering to myself as the humans below gasped and pointed at the mysterious floating green marker magically drawing on the wall.

I gave the marker to Mila Rose so that she could take her turn. I spent her turn looking down at the ground to watch the confused people pass us by. I caught sight of a girl, not too much older than me, with flowing ginger hair and shopping bags filled to the brim with all kinds of different foods hanging from each arm skipping merrily down the road before pausing abruptly, staring up towards Ulquiorra-sama with her large brown eyes. Her arms dropped to her sides, the bags slipped onto the ground and the contents spilled out around her feet.

"U-U-Ul-Ulqui...?" she trailed off.

"Woman," Ulquiorra nodded in acknowledgement.

"Ugh. It's her," Apache made a disgusted grimace as she charged a cero from her unicorn-mask-thing.

"KUROSAKI-KUUUUN!" she screeched.

No sooner had she yelled, a Getsuga Tensho came flying towards the Espada. Mila Rose filled in the last square in our game, dropped the marker then ran to assist her master. A glance back to it and I realised she'd won. Curses.

Nnoitra, Grimmjow and Apache rose their swords - if you could call that giant thing Nnoitra carries a 'sword' - and raced towards Ichigo, sporting psychotic grins as they attacked.

Another Getsuga Tensho followed the previous, only slightly affecting Apache, sending her flying towards a building, whereas Grimmjow and Nnoitra remained unharmed. I swear, with how often he uses Getsuga Tensho, you'd think that's the only ability he knew.

"Bastard!" Apache yelled as she flew into a building.

Some blue arrows flew towards Halibel-san, Sung-sun sonido'd to block her in the nick of time, preventing any of the arrows from hitting her.

A ball of spiritual energy rocketed towards Ulquiorra-sama as he was distracted by Orihime. I felt that it was my turn to defend, and so I intercepted the shot, using my body as a shield. Another, larger one followed the previous shot, my body resisting them both. I glared down at Chad, who stared back at me blankly.

"Trash, I can handle him myself," Ulquiorra-sama said as I was shoved out of the way, his attention now fixed on Chad. He shot a cero, Chad running to avoid it, but to no avail. The cero was too large for him to outrun. When it cleared, a large crater lay in the middle of the road, Chad stood nearby it, crimson blood dripping down his forehead.

I snarled, walking away from the situation. A thank you wouldn't have hurt. I paced over to Kitsune-chan, who was also feeling useless and alone as the others fought.

Halibel-san was skillfully handling Uryu-kun along with her Fraccion, Nnoitra and Grimmjow were beating the living shit out of Ichigo, Szayel-san was ripping wings off of butterflies and observing them, then stuffing some unharmed ones in a phial that he got out of nowhere for later. The others were doing other stuff. I'm only one person, I can't watch everything that goes on.

I sighed. I felt so futile, so worthless. I couldn't fight for either side; I belonged to both sides.

Kitsune-chan grinned to herself, sonidoing down to the streets where she searched for Orihime. Ichigo flashstepped in front of her and Getsuga Tensho'd her into a building before returning to his fight with Grimmjow and Nnoitra.

Great, now I have to be obsolete on my own.

All of Ichigo's attacks were useless against them. They resisted so easily, whereas he was suffering from the hard blows that they'd dealt. His forehead, arms and torso were nearly covered in blood. As Ichigo tried again to strike Grimmjow, he grabbed ahold of Ichigo's sword, pulling it away from him and sealing the deal with a kick to the chest. Ichigo's grip on the blade was lost, Grimmjow now claiming it as his own. Nnoitra smirked.

"This one's mine, kitty-cat!" he cackled, his fist making contact with Grimmjow's stomach, sending him flying into another building.  
He raised his weapon above his head, Ichigo preparing to block the oncoming attack.

"Say bye bye, strawberry."

Ichigo raised his arm in a feeble attempt to block. He brought his weapon down on Ichigo, laughing madly.

The laughter turned to silence.

* * *

**Whoever can get my very clever song references not-so-well hidden inside this writing gets a pixel cookie.**  
**Review. Bye bye.**


	3. Chapter Two: Shards

**Theme song for this chapter: The End Is Where We Begin by Thousand Foot Krutch**

* * *

Day One - Afternoon

Shards.

When Nnoitra brought his weapon down on Ichigo, that was all he could see.

Shards.

Floating through the air, shimmering as the sun's light grazed over them, then disappearing into nothingness.

Soon, he was holding nothing in his hands. His weapon's handle had disintegrated into shards along with everything else.

I clutched my head as pain shot through it. Then the shards. I gingerly placed my fingers on my forehead, where my mask should be, but it was gone. The spot where it used to be stung slightly, but it was gone. My face shone with relief and happiness.

Grimmjow made a quick reappearance, stabbing Ichigo through his chest before his sword and mask smashed as well. Blood gushed through the wounds that Ichigo bore as he fell to the floor. Uryu was already unconscious by Halibel-san, whose mask and sword shattered next, along with her Fracciones'. Orihime had disappeared long ago whilst Ulquiorra-sama was dealing with Chad. His mask was next to break.

All around me, blades and bone masks burst into billions of pieces. I smiled. We were free from Aizen's grasp. Then I gasped.

We were still in the air!

"Get to me, quickly!" They did as told. I just hoped our hierro lasts long enough.

We came crashing out of the sky and fell into a heap on the ground, random people crowding around us.

"What're y'all looking at?! Don't you have important human shit to deal with?" Grimmjow yelled viscously as he attempted to retrieve himself from the pile.

"Wait, they can see us?" Neliel-chan mumbled from under the pile.

"No, they're staring at the wall," Szayel-san said sarcastically as he rolled his eyes, removed himself from the pile and dusted himself off. "Hm. I really need glasses," he noted as he glanced around.

Grimmjow and I were next to escape the pile. Or at least I thought it was him.

"Grimmjow, is that you?" I questioned the muscular brunette.

"Of course it is! Are you fucking blind too?!"

"Oh, okay. Your hair's brown," I stated bluntly.

"I knew it, you are blind."

"Find a mirror, retard."

"Okay then," he huffed, searching desperately for something he could use as a mirror. "I'll prove once and for all that I- WHAT FUCKERY IS THIS?!"

"This 'fuckery', as you put it, is the result of Szayel's experiment," Halibel-san answered as they finally disbanded the heap.

"You can't prove it," the blond scientist replied.

"It was today that you tested your new experiment on us, and then this happened. On a normal day, we'd be wearing masks and bearing swords and-"

"Are you ninjas?!" a random child asked.

"Uhm, no, sweetie, we're... human, just like you," Nel-chan answered, uncertainty evident in her voice.

Hey, she's a brunette too.

"But as I was saying... I think this-" she gestured to everything going on around her. "-is proof enough," Halibel-san finished.

"Quit staring at me! I'm NOT a fucking SPOON!" Nnoitra screamed at the crowd.

"Nnoitra-sama, please..."

"Not now, Tesla!"

An alabaster hand grabbed my shoulder and forced me to turn around.

"What is this?" Ulquiorra-sama asked.

"What's what?"

"Everything. The swords and masks shattering, the hair colour changing... Have you noticed how everyone has lost their Hollow holes?"

He's right. His jacket is slightly unzipped, but just enough so you could see that his Hollow hole had sealed up. Grimmjow's and Neliel-chan's had gone, too, and so had Kitsune-chan's, but you could still very faintly see the outlines of circles where they used to be. The tattoos were gone as well, light outlines left imprinted on the skin.

"And have you noticed how ordinary humans are able to see us?"

"Yes, I have, but..."

"What are we?"

"You probably wouldn't believe me if I told you," I shrugged lightly.

"Tell me." He tilted my head up and looked me in the eyes. His eyes held sternness and determination, but at the same time, they contained curiosity and fear.

I sighed and finally answered. "We are human. Ordinary human beings. We're born, we live, we die. Humans."

He shoved me away, "We're trash."

"No, that's trash," I said, pointing to a trash can sat on the end of the street. He glanced towards it briefly before leaving to assist Tesla-kun, Neliel-chan and Halibel-san in restraining Nnoitra.

I gazed at Grimmjow, who had just got over the fact that he was now a brunette. He was completely topless and flexing his muscles in front of a group of love-struck girls who stared in awe, strings of drool dangling from the corners of their mouths.

When he finally got bored of working the crowd, he came over to me. "Hey, Emo Bitch's Bitch, the hell do we do now?"

I forgot that I was the only one with any basic human knowledge. Looks like these people need me.

"Give me one good reason why I should tell you."

"Because I'm a fucking sex god," he flexed his muscles again, trying out several different poses to try and impress me.

It's not working.

"Going to need a better reason than that if you want any of my help."

"Uh, well," he mumbled, dumbfounded over the fact that I didn't swoon over him like the other girls did. "Tell me or I will... I will... Y'know what? I don't fucking know. Just tell me."

"Okay. We move to another country," I stated. I could tell by his facial expression that he thought I was kidding. Well, I'm not.

"I'm being serious," he snarled, crossing his arms.

"So am I," I mimicked his pose.

"Which country?"

"Get the others over here and we'll discuss it."

It barely took him a second to grab their attention - and Nnoitra's hair - and bring them to me. Now I can make them do anything I want! Anything...

"What's the plan?" Nel-chan asked.

"We have to move to another country," I answered.

"No, seriously," Mila Rose said.

"I am being serious."

"Which country?" Halibel-san questioned.

"What languages can you speak other than Japanese?"

I asked the same thing over and over again, only a name would differentiate each question. All of them - except for Grimmjow and Nnoitra, but Grimmjow knew a little French instead. Nnoitra, on the other, more useless hand, only knew Japanese - knew Spanish. Two or three of them knew German or French, and none of them knew English. Except for Szayel-san, but he only knew a few phrases so that doesn't count.

"I've decided. We're going to.."

I paused for dramatic effect.

"...England!"

"What?!" they yelled collectively.

"Yup. England. Great Britain," I smiled. "We'll need to hire a Japanese-English translator, but other than that it should be fun."

"But none of us know English! It's fucking pointless going there! Why can't we go to the stupid Spanish country?" Nnoitra shouted.

"Firstly, the Spanish country is called Spain," I began. "Secondly, I'm the only one with any basic human knowledge because Szayel-san deems the human race pointless trash and has not bothered to learn about them and so I-" I jabbed my thumb into my chest for emphasis. "-am in charge." A grin spread across my face as I added a third item to my speech. "Thirdly, how much are you willing to pay me to be your translator?" Relief and joy flooded the faces of the people around me. "We'll have to leave this country as soon as possible. Without weapons or even basic offensive abilities such as Bala or Cero, Ichigo and his buddies could easily defeat us."

"Pfft, like hell. Even without Santa Teresa with me, I'm still strongenough to take down that fucking carrot-top!" Nnoitra claimed.

"No, you're not," Nel finalised. "What do we have to do first?"

"Find money for plane tickets. We can't use a Garganta to get over there, we're human; we gotta fly. Airplanes," I explained.

"Stupid bloody humans," Grimmjow grumbled.

"Yes, well, to be able to buy tickets to get on the planes, we have to work." They all simultaneously sighed. I grinned evilly. "And the best part is, I'm too young to work. So it's going to be you. All of you. Besides, it's about time you find out what work really is."

And all of a sudden, I feel hated.

"Like hell am I working!" Nnoitra protested.

"Hey, could I make money off of exposing my amazingly sexy body?" Grimmjow inquired.

"Yes you are, and maybe, but I think I have a job in mind for all of you already. All you have to do is shut up and avoid drawing attention to yourselves."

If that's at all possible.

* * *

"Urahara-san!" I sang cheerily as I pranced into the shop.

"Chie-chan! What a pleasant surprise! And who're they?" he questioned, peering suspiciously over my shoulder to get a better look at them.

"Well," I turned to face them and pointed at them individually whilst addressing them. Obviously, I changed their names incase Urahara knew. He's probably smart enough to have figured it out by their appearances already.

"Oh, really? They look awfully familiar." As I said, he's smart.

Shit, I need ideas. Hm...

"Oh, um, they're cosplayers! He cosplays L from Death Note," I said, motioning to Ulquiorra-sama. "And she's ...Lust from Fullmetal Alchemist?" Neliel.

"Isn't Lust's hair a little darker?"

"Cana Alberona from Fairy Tail?"

We both glanced over towards Nel, simultaneously "eh"ing before I began again naming anime characters with similar appearances to my allies.

Hm, I never thought I'd ever call an Arrancar - ANY Arrancar - my ally.

"And he's what it would look like if Kenpachi Zaraki and Orochimaru from Naruto had a baby!" Nnoitra.

"I really didn't need that image in my head," he gulped. He looked a little green. "Huh. Well, what do you need?"

"Work."

He gasped, eyes widened in shock. "Wh- A- How-... Are you high?"

"I'm serious!"

"Well, I guess I could get a few of them working, but only on small jobs such as restocking the shelves and sweeping. Other than that, there's nothing around here that needs doing."

"Good enough."

And then we discussed pay.

That was possibly the most boring conversation in my entire life, but at the same time, it was probably the most intelligent.

I turned to face my allies, a victorious grin on my face after negotiating the original pay and getting him to raise it by another hundred yen per hour.

And they're gone.

* * *

**Review or I'll stop writing. ._. Barely got any reveiws on the last chapter. Shame on you. Shame on you all. Except for Latios381. You, my friend, are awesome.**

**WELL THEN.**

**Review. Now. They're like drugs to me. Very addictive, harmless drugs.**

**Love you, bye! ^^**


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